Like many people these days, I am very active on social media. I browse Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram multiple times a day. I follow many new blog sites and alternative news outlets. But a new trend has caught my eye in recent months, and it not reserved to new blog sites. Mainstream online news publications are also carrying these “insightful” articles geared towards women about love and relationships. They give advice on healing a broken heart, love and relationships in the digital age, moving forward when that new or special guy “ghosts” you, and pledge to you that you will not be single forever. But the one glaring issue I have with these articles is that women averaging an age of 24 write them. Seriously?
When I was 24, not only was I inexperienced in the game of love, I had been in exactly one serious relationship. Actually, I had just ended and engagement, and looking back it was the smartest decision I ever made. Had I gone through with the marriage, there is no doubt in my mind that I would currently be divorced.
As I am slowly creeping my way to 40, and still single, I find it not only ridiculous, but insulting that these websites are publishing articles about life and love authored by someone who has barely experienced said life, let alone true love.
Most recently I came across an article entitled An Open Letter To The Girl Who Thinks She’ll Be Single Forever. The author devises that “your time will come…I know you’ve heard this before, but it’s true.” She says not to fret, and to keep putting yourself out there, saying “don’t you dare” stop trying to find love.
Most of my friends are married, and most of those friends have multiple children. I have taken part in more weddings than I care to count. And as of this moment most of my friends who were married by 24 are now divorced. So forgive me if I am not eager to take love and relationship advice from someone who has only stopped attending frat parties in the last 18-months.
Why can’t these sites procure these types of articles from real women who know what navigating the dating and relationship minefield is like for women in their 30’s and 40’s? More and more women are putting off marriage, if getting married at all, until later in life. It makes headlines every-so-often that researchers are concerned because fewer women are having children. So if these societal trends are on target, then logically speaking, how can a 24-year-old possible be qualified to dispense advice to the female masses about keeping their collective chins up, that your knight is out there just waiting for you to stumble across him.
So I am penning this open letter to those 20-somethings making a buck writing these bogus advice columns, trying to be the next Gloria Steinem or whomever they see as leading the charge for women. Your advice is not helpful; instead it’s discourteous and juvenile. And to the rest of those 20-somethings who are concerned about still being single at their age…take it from someone who has traveled that road and made it out the other side of the tunnel…enjoy being single and live your life. Don’t peg your worth or state in life on finding a mate. One thing I can say for certain is if you are not comfortable with who you are no one will make it better. Like RuPaul says: “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?”